Sugar Bean Expansion Pack

Bad news comes in threes. Sugar bean blessings come in twos. 

Examples:

1. M&B are born less that one year apart

2. We were able to find a house and a car less than one year apart.

3. The husband was accepted into his graduate program about the same time I accepted my internship.

4. Our family is growing by two more.

Our newest sugar beans: live in action.

We have had a lot of other blessings come in twos, but I really needed to cut to the chase: twins. Oh my heck, twins. Having twins has already become quite the adventure. So many people are eager to tell us all about what is happening to our family (more often than not, these people have no experience with twins). We have had friends and family who are mad that we are having twins. We have had people ignore it completely. We have had an overwhelming amount of people be excited for us. We have had people tell us we're "crazy for having twins," like it was something that was in our control. We have had a surprising amount of jealousy held against us (apparently everyone and their dog wants twins). I have had a wonderful extended family give an appropriate response of emotional support. Thank you, Davis clan. Thank you, sister. You know who you are.

I just want to lay down the law here. Not only for me, but for women pregnant with twins in general. Stop it. Stop the brutal gossip, the jealous behavior, and the unwarranted advice. Stop reading statistics and scaring the mother trying to carry healthy kiddos. Let me debunk some myths and common statements for you:

1. If you're having twins, one of the following must be accurate: you were on fertility medication, it runs in your family, you are an older woman, etc. I'm 23 and extremely fertile all on my own. I didn't plan this.

2. You're having a boy and a girl, that's the most common type of twin. Maybe. In order for me to have a boy and a girl, they would have to be fraternal twins. We don't know that is true yet. My babies have the same due date and mirrored placenta. We won't know unless they are girl/boy, or until they are born and we can do a DNA test. Unless you are an ultrasound tech, don't diagnose the gender.

3. The only difference between a twin and singleton pregnancy is that you will get bigger with two. This statement bugs me more than anything else I have been told as an accusation. I just want to take a moment and acknowledge every mom who has carried twins: I appreciate you. With twins, you have a higher level of hCG, progesterone and testosterone than with a singleton pregnancy. All twin pregnancies, even fraternal twins, are diagnosed as a high risk pregnancy as soon as the medical provider is aware that the mother is carrying twins. This is because there is a greater risk of miscarriage, preterm labor, preeclampsia, anemia, bleeding, and having too much amniotic fluid. There is a higher risk for complications with the babies as well. Twin to twin transfusion and disappearing twin syndrome are real things. I am more tired this go around. I definitely have more "morning" sickness. It does take a toll on my body more so than my other two pregnancies. I don't go in for IV infusion twice a week for attention: that is dangerous. Do you know what else is dangerous for any pregnancy? Dehydration and malnutrition. In fact, chances are that unless you are babysitting my children, you are talking to the person babysitting my children, or you are my husband, you don't know when or if it is even happening. 

4. It will all be worth it when they are girls (when there is a girl in there). I cannot tell you how many people have said this. I needed IV before I was diagnosed with a twin pregnancy, and it's the first thing the nurse said to me. My family as well as my in-laws have said it. Yes, I have two boys. If I am having two more boys, it will still be worth it. I will not love them any more or less based on their genders. They are precious and fragile spirits who have been sent to our family for our love. It will all be worth it when they are healthy and loved members of our family, regardless of their sex.

In conclusion, there is a time and a place to be frustrated with another person. That time is not when they are pregnant nor should it be caused by reason beyond their control. Double the hCG generally means double the sensitivity. Please, be kind. Thank you so much to those that have contacted me and said, "Call me if  you need anything," or "I'm here when you need me." Chances are very slim that I will ever call you for help, but the emotional support means more to me than you know. I'm so incredibly grateful for this opportunity to expand our family. The friends and family that stand with me are truly wonderful, and I am incredibly thankful for them. I love you guys.