Parenting and Education: My Style

A few weeks ago I read this article and it left me really upset. It also made me take a step back and analyze why I parent and educate the way that I do.

I do stay home. I home school in the summer and supplement education during the school year. I will work as an intern at the Montessori school my children are attending this upcoming year because I care about their education, and I want to make sure I do my best to help them reach their full potential. I am passionate about Maria Montessori's methods and I am so excited to continue to learn so that I may apply those methods in our home.

You know what? I do all of this work for my children, and it doesn't make me a superior mother. It just makes me myself. I have friends who get up and go to work every day. They make an income to support their families during the day time. In the evening, they come home to their children and they love their children just as much as I love mine. Each one of them is better at something than I am. I have a friend who is really crafty. I have a friend who has really clean, well put together kids. I have a friend who is organic everything and extremely healthy. I have a friend who is very artistic and talented in encouraging her children to be so. I have a friend who is a crazy incredible chef. We each have different talents. We each have different situations. We are each doing our best for our kiddos. It's as simple as that.

I have faced a lot of criticism for choosing the Montessori method for my littles. People assume that I am a left wing hippy who doesn't support consumerism. People assume that the Montessori method doesn't discipline children. I've been called a lazy parent for not correcting my kids while they are in the middle of a project. I must be a feminist to love Maria Montessori's work. Let me leave you assured: none of these things are true.

I chose the Montessori method because I love the method. It was a method developed to encourage independence and self discipline. I value independence in children because I know my children will not always be mine. I believe that I am raising these precious spirits to be functional members of society as well as productive children of the Lord. I love the natural approach given by the Montessori method. I agree and encourage sensorial activities because I see the difference it make in my kids to put their hands in a bag of rice or pour water between glasses. We are natural born scientists, why not encourage our kids to learn and explore independently? Its the same principal used by Jacob Barnett: forget what society is shoving down our throats and let's start finding our own perspective. I love that instead of games, my kids do "jobs." They learn grace, courtesy, compassion, how to care for oneself, how to care for one's surroundings, how to care for the environment, respect, discipline, and so much more all while they are also receiving a self conducted education. I love the carefully prepared environment that encourages their knowledge in each subject of education (including subjects such as astronomy, botany, and zoology.)

You may have noticed that I emphasize discipline. The children in the classroom must be self-disciplined enough to complete a job. This includes taking the job to a work area, doing the job start to finish, and cleaning up. In their manners, they must be respectful of others and the classroom materials. They use quiet voices, quiet feet, and quiet materials (most of the time): this teaches them volume control. Instead of time out, or public shaming (such as a name on a board), the children use a ready chair. Much like time-out, it is a place the child can go to take a break. However, the child decides when he is ready to return to the learning environment and be a productive student. This requires the child to discipline himself and it allows the child to control his own temper and behavior.

(There are at least one thousand other reasons I love Montessori. If you care to know more, just ask. I would be happy to share information).

These are some of the reasons I have chosen this educational path for my family. I have also chosen this path to discipline at home. You don't have to like the way I do things. I do them for my children not for you. I parent the way I do because most days, when I kneel before the Lord, I kneel with a clear conscience. Everyone makes mistakes. With gratitude for this method, I make fewer and fewer mistakes every day.

I'm grateful for my family. I'm grateful for the opportunity the Lord has given me to encourage these spirits to find themselves, and go forth with love. I'm grateful for my husband, and his love, support, and excitement in raising these boys. I'm grateful for our home, our trials, our extended family, and our adventures yet to be.

I just want to remind each and every mother: your children have been given to you. They have not been given to the mothers of pinterest, the perfect mommy blogs, the facebook bragging friends, the judgmental lady in line at the grocery store: you. They are blessings not to be set aside for the world to nurture, but for you. Hold them close. Love them. Do the best you can. I promise, your best is enough. Stop comparing yourself to others. When you reach the end of your patience with criticism, write a lovely blog post kind of like this one. It's cathartic. If you have had a bad day and you need to vent, drop me an e-mail (abbymo27@gmail.com). I promise, unless your not feeding your kids or you're beating them senseless (or anything that falls along those lines), you are doing a good job. You are a good mom (or dad).

Be kind to one another.

Morgan